Intentional and Focused
The first step to active listening is to be focused on hearing the other person, and to have the intention to fully understand what they are ‘trying’ to communicate.
The second step is to clarify what you are hearing by asking questions. This becomes tricky as it requires actual listening. The listening part will tell you the persons emotional state, sense of vulnerability, and level of importance.
This is where most humans feel the most challenged. Empathic validation is where we summarize the other persons points and ask, “Am I getting this right?” It is incredibly important to be ready for a “NO, thats not right.” And then to continue listening to that point.
This can be even more open than some open ended questions. It can be incredibly important to the other person that once you understand what they are communicating to you, that they will also want some form of validation or action. With no single group of answers, you can practice some of the other communication techniques at this point.
Let’s have a converstaion
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